There is a particular kind of waiting that no one prepares you for.
Not the waiting for a wedding day. Not the waiting for a baby to arrive.
The waiting before the baby.
The waiting that happens in the quiet months of trying.
It often begins with optimism. A downloaded app. A prenatal vitamin. A conversation that feels equal parts exciting and terrifying.
And then, slowly, the calendar enters the relationship.
Days become numbers. Weeks become windows. Every symptom feels significant. Every cycle feels like a fresh beginning until it isn’t.
If you’re here, in the middle of trying, I want you to know something:
You are not doing this wrong.
You are not behind.
And you are not alone.
In fact, as I write this, I am navigating my own journey with secondary infertility. For two and a half years, I have lived in the space between hope and heartbreak, wondering if this will be the month, only to find myself turning the page on another calendar.
I know how all-consuming the waiting can become.
And I know how lonely it can feel when everyone around you seems to be moving forward while you’re standing still.
When my husband and I were trying for our first baby, I hosted a baby shower for one of my closest friends. I was genuinely excited to celebrate her. But as guests began arriving, I started noticing something.
She was pregnant.
Then another woman.
And another.
I started counting.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Eight.
It felt like every woman who walked through the door was expecting a baby except for me.
I remember trying to smile through it. Trying to be present. Trying not to let the ache take over what should have been a joyful afternoon.
Eventually, I sat down with a drink, hoping to shake off the feeling. Just then, the woman sitting next to me stood up and announced her pregnancy to the entire party.
I looked at my husband and quietly said, “I’m ready to go.”
I couldn’t handle the thought that literally everyone in the room seemed to be pregnant except for me.
What I didn’t know was that I was pregnant too.
Just a few days later, I took my first pregnancy test and saw those two pink lines.
I’ve thought about that day countless times since.
Not because it makes for a cute story, but because it reminds me how little we truly know about what tomorrow holds. We never know what next month, next week, or even the next few days may bring.
All this to say: if you’re waiting right now, don’t let today’s disappointment convince you that your story is over.
Your time may be closer than you think.
Stop Living Entirely in the Two-Week Wait
The two-week wait has a way of consuming everything.
You promise yourself you won’t symptom spot.
Then suddenly you’re Googling whether feeling tired at 2:14 p.m. could mean implantation.
We’ve all been there.
One of the healthiest things you can do is continue building a life you love while you’re trying.
Make plans.
Book the dinner.
Take the trip.
Sign up for the workout class.
Start the hobby.
Your life is happening now—not after a positive test.
Create Rituals That Aren’t About Fertility
When every part of your day revolves around trying, it can begin to feel like your identity is shrinking.
Create small rituals that belong only to you.
A morning walk.
A favorite podcast.
Reading before bed.
A weekly coffee date with a friend.
These moments remind you that you are a whole woman, not just a woman trying to become pregnant.
Give Your Body Grace
The fertility world can make you feel like your body is a project that constantly needs fixing.
More supplements.
More tracking.
More optimization.
More pressure.
But your body is not your enemy.
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend going through the same thing—with compassion, patience, and kindness.
Protect Your Marriage
Trying to conceive can quietly turn a relationship into a logistics meeting. Husbands can feel the pressure too and sometimes it makes it harder for them to perform in the bedroom. What once were sexy moments slowly turn into what feels like another chore for your husband.
Conversations become:
“Did you take your vitamins?”
“What cycle day is it?”
“When am I ovulating?”
Instead, make room for conversations that have absolutely nothing to do with babies.
Go on dates.
Laugh.
Watch a movie.
Hold hands.
Remember that your marriage existed before this journey and deserves care during it too. Focus on having fun in the bedroom together again not just baby making.
Products We Love During the Trying Season
These aren’t miracle products—and anyone who promises a miracle should be approached with caution. But they are thoughtful tools that can make this season feel a little more supported.
A Quality Prenatal Vitamin
Start taking a prenatal before pregnancy rather than waiting for a positive test.
A Fertility-Friendly Journal
A place to record prayers, hopes, disappointments, and milestones along the way.
Ovulation and Pregnancy Tracking Journal for TTC
Ovulation Test Strips
Helpful information without the expense of more advanced monitoring. I know it’s tempting but you don’t need to buy expensive ovulation or pregnancy tests. I used these for all of my testing needs and they work great. You can even buy pregnancy tests from the dollar store. Save yourself some money.
Ovulation & Pregnancy Test Strip Dual Kit
A Large Insulated Water Bottle
Hydration is one of the simplest habits that can support overall wellness. This has been my favorite water bottle lately.
A Heating Pad
For difficult cycle days, cramps, or simply comfort when you need it most. I just bought myself a new one last week because my old one was looking a little ratty and I deserve it! 😀
A Good Book
Something that nourishes your heart and reminds you that life is bigger than a fertility app. I’ve heard amazing things about this book. Friends have said, ” I can’t stop thinking about it.” “I can’t put it down.” “I’m sad it’s ending.” It’s next on my to read list.
Book Lovers Book by Emily Henry
The Part No One Says Out Loud
Sometimes trying takes longer than expected.
Sometimes there are answers.
Sometimes there aren’t.
Sometimes the journey unfolds exactly as planned.
Sometimes it doesn’t.
Whatever chapter you’re in today, your worth has not changed.
Not because of a pregnancy test.
Not because of a diagnosis.
Not because of a timeline.
You are still becoming.
Still growing.
Still worthy of joy.
And while I can’t promise when your next chapter will arrive, I can promise this:
You do not have to spend these quiet months alone.
At Bride to Baby, we’re holding hope with you.
One month at a time.